Fun

Have you noticed that having fun is getting harder to do?

For one thing, it seems that a simple good time from a few years ago is now dangerous, bad for the planet, selfish, or offensive to some member of an oppressed minority.

Forget the chili cheese fries, the after-dinner cigar, the drive in the country, riding your bicycle without a helmet, "dirty" jokes, or any of a myriad of gentle pleasures. It's your civic duty to keep your cholesterol down, your blood pressure under control, your carbon footprint small, your risk profile to a minimum, and your politics correct.

Who are these nags that know so much better than you and I how we should behave?

In the simplest of terms, they are the control freaks that populate the Democrat Party, the bureaucrats of the European Union (no live bacteria in my cheese, please), the National Education Associate (boys are just girls with extra body parts and an inclination to misbehave), the grievance-monger-in-chief of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and the so-called clergy who wouldn't want to offend homosexuals. These are the well-intentioned idiots who are ruining our lives and destroying the hope of our children.

There are far more evil controllers at work in the world, and their idea the intolerable is really scary.

The followers of Allah - who believe their mission is to return the world to the dark ages, to keep women in chattel and out of eye-shot of other men, and to kill infidels - are hard at work invading the west, including America, and taking advantage of the fools who would tolerate them to make the intolerance of Islam the law of the land.

The followers of Marx and Engels who know that the state is the only proper owner of "productive resources" are hard at work in China, North Korea, Cuba, Venezuela, and other countries doing their worst to export their sickness - with the connivance of liberals in Congress, the White House, and in other free governments.

The global warming extremists, who are sure that anything humans do is "destroying the planet," and that the freer and richer you are, the greater your sin - are bound to destroy the economies of the civilized world for the promise of some antediluvian nirvana.

Well, I have had it up to here with people who disrespect my orthodox Christianity, my childlike belief in the plain text of the Constitution, and my disdain for their point-of-view. I intend to drive my big V-8 cars, smoke fine cigars, drink old whiskey, laugh at Democrats, try to educate Republicans, enjoy my friends, and tell the anointed One and his minions to go straight to Hell.

God put us here to serve Him, not the IRS, the NEA, the SEIU, or Allah. Remember, America became great because the people who live here kick ass, not because they bend over for every sorry wimp with hurt feelings.

So, folks, let the good times roll, tell the "gay" lobby to get a life, and insult a foreign invader for me.